Hey Mr. Beifuss
I didn't like your Moulin Rouge review
But what you wrote about Ghost World connected me to you
It made me so glad when you visited my English class
Even when that one kid said that you'd been smokin tha grass

Beifuss! Beifuss, Beifuss, Beifuss!
Ooh Beifuss Jo
You're such a cool bloke
I want to get to know you

Hey Mr. Beifuss
I can be your Frankenstein Bride
We'll make homemade horror movies
We'll be screaming side by side
I'll sit with you in dark theatres when it's really late at night
And if you can't see to make your notes, I'll have brought a flashlight

Beifuss! Beifuss, Beifuss, Beifuss!
Ooh Beifuss Jo
You're such a cool bloke
I want to get to know you

Hey Mr. Beifuss
I respect all that flows from your pen
How long is it till Saturday?
I can't wait to read your column again

Beifuss! Beifuss, Beifuss, Beifuss!
Ooh Beifuss Jo
You're such a cool bloke
I want to get to know you

I know that you are not a slob
I know that you are sometimes wrong
I know your favorite movie
Oh come on, Johnny!

Marry me, Beifuss
I wanna marry you
Marry me, Beifuss
I do, I do, I do
Marry me, Beifuss
I wanna marry you

Johnny, I think I love you...