He used to read The Baby-sitters Club
Oh, wait -- that was me
Now he's reading Kerouac
And the girls all think he's deep

You played flute in middle school band
Girls thought you were dull
But little did they know about
That guy from Jethro Tull

He's had that tie since the third grade
It's the color of 70's tile
But since he's worn it every single day
It's finally come back in style

Used to be addicted
To computer games
But with his hip new website
He's achieved online fame

You used to like Limp Bizkit
But now, not so much
But when you're fronting your rock n' roll band
You've got Fred Durst's touch

His old junkie caaaaaar
Is now super hip
He rips his brand new pants
With his mother's sewing kit

We hot!
You not!
You wanna get with me?
Get some new clothes, boy!